I've not been here in forever! No mood picture today...I'm too lazy.

Quick update! No, I'm not in a relationship anymore, nor do I want to be in one like that again. No sir, long distance is too much to handle. Yes, IB exams are coming and I should be studying, but instead I waste my time blogging [which is not really wasting time, more like stress relief] or talking on the phone till 5 in the morning when my home phone battery decides to commit suicide. Yes, I kept true to my word and stayed straight edge up till now. No, I will not be signing autographs [I just needed another no...haha]. Yes, I do still believe in miracles. Yes I still believe in fairy tale endings, even though they're so unfair. No, please don't search up my real name on urbandictionary.com. Yes, I know you probably will now, but whatever. Yes, I'm pretty much done high school a month earlier than the rest. No, I still have to go to school for two classes to earn the credits. Yes, I'm still taking up valuable study time. No I do not regret it! [I will forget what I studied if I keep on studying]

---

My friend and I were talking yesterday/this morning, and we kind of want to start a youtube thing! But it'll never happen cuz he lives three hours away by bus. Shit. Hahaha.

---

I need a phone. Like, seriously...

As the title implies, it must be fate. It just has to be. It had to be fate that I moved away to Canada and got skinny. It must have been fate that I joined YFC where I met Kristy Tan. It must have been fate that she'd introduce me to Cosmo Cafe to become a waiter where I'd meet Andy Luan. It must have been fate that Andy's friend thought I was cute and started talking to me and introduced me to DL. It must have been fate that I met Danny, and got crushed. It must have been fate when I met Dai, and now we're sort of going out, but he's really pissing me off with his attitude. It must have been fate that you found me cute and added me, and we became friends. It must have been fate that led me to believe I could confide n you about my problems with Dai. It must have been fate that we started talking about schools...and we found out we went to the same school. Now I've gotta meet you!

---

Mood
Apathetic

Alright, so, I met up with the guy I was checking with. In my opinion, it all happened way too fast. I mean, I don't think it's fair, what he did. I don't want to play the victim, but damn it! I'm such a sucker for guys who claim to be so different, and who actually act different...but are douches in the long run. He made me believe there were gay guys who didn't just think of sex...who actually had substance in their being. I fell for it, hook line and sinker. He took my lip virginity and left me, saying our day was awkward...He then told me he wished to stay friends, but then he blocks me on MSN...I should know because he talked to my best friend that day too. He told her that he thought I was too much of a dork, and that there probably wouldn't be a next time. That hurt me. His hypocrisy is what annoys me most. I don't feel like ranting too much on here...I'd feel too bad.

I don't regret anything though, I guess. I should look at this as an opportunity at growth somehow. Maybe now I won't be so naive when choosing boys. Maybe now I can see that I don't need a boy to make me happy. even though right now he still makes me really sad, indirectly. I'm lucky to have a set of friends who stayed by my side through the whole thing. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to feel so bad. But there was definitely substance in what I felt with him. I guess, he just never reciprocated.

On a lighter note...I can't find one right now.
I'll blog again soon...

~Rei